New Year’s Resolution hating is almost as long a tradition as New Year’s Resolution making. With each December comes declarations that there will be no resolutions this year. Although a few friends and family members are determined to make the upcoming year theirs, the majority are anti-resolution because they believe making resolutions is futile.

And with good reason. Research shows that about 88 percent of New Year’s Resolutions are forgotten by the time February hits the calendar. Elizabeth Scott, a wellness coach specializing in stress management and quality of life issues, says that the four week period between setting your resolution and February is normally when most people feel stress associated with their change in lifestyle. “As a life coach, I can tell you that the third through the eighth week after an attempted change can be the most stressful, as motivation wanes and challenges crop up.”

The Evolution of the Resolution

As many 52 percent of those who make resolutions are confident they’ll succeed. This means that almost half of the people who make resolutions go in expecting that they won’t—so why make them at all?

Tradition mostly. The practice of creating New Year’s Resolutions dates back as far as the Ancient Babylonians, who made promises to the gods each year. The Romans made them too. January is named for the Roman deity Janus, a two faced god that looked back and forward at the same time. In honor of Janus, the New Year has traditionally been a time of reflection of what your past held as well as what your future should hold. Many religions also have traditions of reflection and moral re-dedication at the beginning of each year. That’s why so many of today’s resolutions are about being better—quitting smoking, losing weight, finally get on a budget, etc.

Expectations Vs. Resolutions

Knowing all of this, there’s still something I can’t help but love about a New Year’s Resolution. I’m a big fan of new beginnings and the first of the year is especially tantalizing. Nothing has happened yet. It’s a clean slate and anything seems possible that year. This might be the year you make that move, start something special or change everything. I make goals and fresh starts all year long, but the New Year seems like the perfect time to really go big with them.

Except I call them expectations rather than resolutions. Changing the name makes me feel like they are put into perspective. A resolution is a decision. Making the decision to stop eating cheesecake for breakfast leaves room for the option to change the next time those cravings arise at 6 a.m. An expectation is little more serious. If I’m expected somewhere at a certain time and place, failing to show implies some sort of bad result. Expecting to succeed at my yearly goals makes me feel accountable if I fail. Unlike the nearly half of resolution makers, I fully expect to succeed.

One way to make a resolution more of an expectation than a wish is to share. The more family, friends and acquaintances you have expecting results the more likely you’ll stick to it. Frank Ra penned a book on making the type of significant lifestyle changes or improvements that resolutions are all about. In A Course in Happiness he advises, “Resolutions are more sustainable when shared, both in terms of with whom you share the benefits of your resolution, and with whom you share the path of maintaining your resolution. Peer-support makes a difference in success rate with new year’s resolutions.”

Expecting More

Whether you call them expectations or resolutions and whether you make them at the beginning of the year or spontaneously every day, goals are goals. Hating New Year’s Resolutions is understandable but misguided. Sure you can say New Year’s Resolutions don’t work because you never follow through on them. But it’s a lot like saying condoms don’t work because you never even opened the package. Or that seat belts are stupid because you don’t buckle up when you drive. Don’t blame the tool. It does its job when used correctly. It can’t overcome user error by itself.

It doesn’t have to be that way, though. If you can make it less of a decision and more of expectation, you’re already doing better than almost half of everyone else who is making one. And if you make it clear that you expect more from yourself, surprising things will happen.

Article written by P.S. Jones for Moxy Magazine, January 2012. Photos courtesy of flickr user lululemon athletica.